Books

Apart from loving our kids unconditionally, the most powerful thing we can do for children is to foster in them a healthy sense of control.

Apart from loving our kids unconditionally, the most powerful thing we can do for children is to foster in them a healthy sense of control. We wrote The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say? to help parents do just, both promoting the subjective sense of autonomy core to healthy motivation and good mental health AND developing brains that are wired with inner drive, stress tolerance, and a sense of #igotthis/

The Self-Driven Child

A National Best-Seller

The Self-Driven Child offers a combination of cutting-edge brain science, the latest discoveries in behavioral therapy, and case studies drawn from the thousands of kids and teens Bill and Ned have helped over the years to teach you how to set your child on the real road to success. As parents, we can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take the wheel and map out their own path. But there is a lot you can do before then to help them tackle the road ahead with resilience and imagination.

The Self-Driven Child has been published in 18 countries and 17 languages and has sold almost a million copies worldwide. A one-hour podcast about the book has been viewed by 39,000,000 people in China.

What Do You Say?

How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home

If you’re a parent, you’ve had a moment–maybe many of them–when you’ve thought, “How did that conversation go so badly?” At some point after the sixth grade, the same kid who asked “why” non-stop at age four suddenly stops talking to you. And the conversations that you wish you could have–ones fueled by your desire to see your kid not just safe and healthy, but passionately engaged–suddenly feel nearly impossible to execute. The good news is that effective communication can be cultivated, learned, and taught. And as you get better at this, so will your kids.

Buy a signed copy of either book.

"Compelling, revolutionary, and wise, The Self-Driven Child empowers parents with the courage, the tools, and the mindset to reduce toxic stress, and to foster our child’s capacity for resilience, success, and optimal development. Its message—that we should trust kids to have more control over their own lives—is one every parent needs to hear."
—Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, co-author of The Whole Brain Child and The Yes Brain
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“A must-read for any parent who finally wants to stop arguing, bickering, and negotiating with their kids, but who also wants their children to succeed and do well in life. Stixrud and Johnson provide clear, actionable guidance on how to motivate kids to do well school, to conquer their fears and anxieties, and ultimately to pursue activities that bring joy and happiness. The advice in this book has already helped me become a kinder, more effective mom.”
—Michaeleen Doucleff, New York Times bestselling author of Hunt, Gather, Parent
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"In What Do You Say? Stixrud and Johnson function as guardian angels who show up at precisely the right time with precisely the right advice. Deploying an ideal mashup of research, relatable scenarios, and instructive dialogues they guide you to be a calm, loving consultant to your child, while helping you counteract the impulse to push, pull, or control. Your kid grows capable and resilient from their strong interpersonal connection with you, the competency they develop, and the autonomy you’re giving them. This book is a must-read game-changer for all parents. It’s already changing my life!"
—Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times bestselling author of Your Turn and How To Raise an Adult
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